journal

Govern yourselves accordingly

Once upon a time — like, more than a year ago — Claudia said something that only a lawyer would think was a compliment (look for the phrase “corporate lawyer”). And I thought to myself, “self, I should write something to express my gratitude”.

So finally, I got around to finishing it, here [PDF].

It’s just a humdrum raglan pullover.

So sue me.

25 Responses to “Govern yourselves accordingly”

1. 1
   kimbelina said on December 21st, 2006 at 9:01 am

   That’s fabulous — I love the way it’s written. Thanks for sharing!

2. 2
   rani23 said on December 21st, 2006 at 9:03 am

   HAHA. That’s fantastic!!! :)

3. 3
   Deanna said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:17 am

   Brilliant! Every pattern needs a paragraph 22.

4. 4
   May said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:19 am

   Jenna: By far the best Pattern I’ve ever read!

5. 5
   J Strizzy said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:26 am

   Excellent drafting, particularly the inclusion of “Acts of Cat.” Looks airtight to me.

6. 6
   Brenda said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:36 am

   What, no Boyfriend Sweater Curse clause?

7. 7
   j. said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:40 am

   Dammit! I knew I forgot something.

8. 8
   j. said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:42 am

   Arguably caught by paragraph 22, but I think when I get a chance I’ll work that in.

9. 9
   mamacate said on December 21st, 2006 at 10:45 am

   I know I’ve said it before, but I love you.

   And I’m changing my cat’s name to Force Majure.

10. 10
    JoVE said on December 21st, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Acts of Cat LOL

    I love it. But paragraph 3 would kill me every time. Probably why I’d make a horrible lawyer (corporate or otherwise).

11. 11
    Kim said on December 21st, 2006 at 11:55 am

    You rock. It’s brilliant.

12. 12
    Samina said on December 21st, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    It’s a good that thing that you use all your powers for (mostly) good. I shudder to think what would happen if you moved to the Dark Side. Thanks for the chuckle.

13. 13
    Kathy said on December 21st, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    That’s hysterical.

14. 14
    Suzanne said on December 21st, 2006 at 6:15 pm

    Oh, that was terrific. I really enjoyed it even if I have a wee headache now. Thanks for the pattern!

15. 15
    --Deb said on December 21st, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    It’s possible the resulting sweater may be humdrum, but the pattern itself is pure gold. Thanks!

16. 16
    Laura said on December 21st, 2006 at 8:08 pm

    This is great! Thanks for a good laugh and a great pattern. :)

17. 17
    Kathleen said on December 22nd, 2006 at 9:14 am

    Terrific!! Thank you.

18. 18
    Marcy said on December 23rd, 2006 at 9:47 am

    Having spent most of my adult life reading and writing in this style, I am of two minds about whether or not a legalesed knitting pattern is a good thing or an evil thing. Either way, though, it’s brilliant!

    Oh, but where are the spaces for the witnesses to sign? :D

19. 19
    Robin said on December 24th, 2006 at 5:29 am

    Haha, cute. Acts of Cat, indeed.

    I haven’t looked really carefully at the knitting instructions themselves, but I am wondering if definition (b) (’”Instructions” means the contents of paragraphs X through Y,
    inclusive;’) is supposed to have actual numbers instead of X and Y?

20. 20
    Steph said on December 24th, 2006 at 10:37 pm

    When did you start writing patterns for Alice Starmore?

    Craig says, you still have too much time on your hands…

    It was worth waiting for the PDF to load on this stupid dial up.

21. 21
    j. said on December 27th, 2006 at 1:14 pm

    Uploaded the fix to the X and Y thing, finally. d’oh.

    Steph: note that I didn’t specify punitive damages for breach of contract if the knitter chose a different yarn…

22. 22
    Jen said on December 30th, 2006 at 3:20 am

    Acts of Cat! This is absolutely, positively, utterly and without doubt the best pattern ever written. I love!

    :) Ha! Ha!

23. 23
    Lee Ann said on December 30th, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    Acts of Child might also be a useful addition. I’ve had to find a better hiding spot for my scissors. You don’t want to know why. Talk about Force Majeure…

    You’re seriously brilliant. This is definitely one for the bulletin board in my office.

24. 24
    Lori said on December 31st, 2006 at 12:32 am

    In my prior life, I read/analyzed a gazillion license agreements. Yours is definitely the best! I was howling with laughter, and will in a moment forward it to an old colleague of mine, who also happens to be a knitter. What a hoot!

25. 25
    Sara in WI said on December 31st, 2006 at 2:19 pm

    What’s so funny? Sounds perfectly necessary to me! ; )

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